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Jai Guru

The following is a translation of the final half of tape 76TR6 recorded in August, 1976. It was translated by Lillibati and Narayan Majumdar, with assistance from Binodini.

A church group that had visited Athena's to meet with Guru has just left. Athena enters the room and want to know what the church members had asked him.

GURU: They came to ask me these questions. Have any saints came over from India? Sometimes, many saints come. They try to test other saints to see that he or she is following the same path or not. Gita wanted to say something, but she stopped. It was my wish that when Americans would come to India they would give some kind of lecture. I wished that Gita Ma would give a lecture. That way, everything would be solved. Guru is God. Guru's grace, should I speak about that? Guru will express Himself about His Grace. ( to Gita: ) Have you tested Guru first, and then accepted Him?

SANAT: Have you a photograph? (gives Gita photograph)

( Unidentified male voice joking ): Five dollars!

GURU: No, no! No money! Your mind is your money. I want my mother. Mother gives everything to her son. Mother brings ice cream, chocolate, toys, she wants her son to be happy, and wants to give all to her son. Love and devotion -- that's enough! Where will our program (bhajans, talk) be?

SANAT: You talk to your "Ma" about that.

GURU (to Athena): Today, what kind of questions have they brought today, Ma?

ATHENA: She (a woman from the church group) wanted to come many times to ask questions, so I told her she could come today. Did you give her any answers?

GURU: They asked me two questions, I gave two answers. First -- why a Guru? Second --
how long did it take you to become a sadhu?

When I was little, I had such a hard life. I went from this house to that house. Everybody treated me so badly. I was beaten up so many times. Now, I have this room made of earth (at the ashram), the roof is made of straw. God gave this to me. Now I leave it and go off to America! I never had even a mud hut! My mother never got to wear a good sari. She would feed us, and what was left, she would eat.

My father used to chant : "Raghuputi Raghuva Raja Ram" and smoke ganja. I did not have a dhoti. I wore a torn dhoti just to cover myself, and I would go beg. When my mother cooked -- we did not have any plates -- she would make a hole in the ground and we would use a leaf, that was our plate. At the age of nine (Guru greets a woman who enters the room). I could never offer a good sari to my mother. We would eat bits of broken rice. My mother used to cook water with rice leavings. But still, coming from that situation: (Sanskrit proverb): "A disciple who cannot walk can climb a hill if he has the courage; a person who cannot talk can talk forever if he has that Will." If you have God's blessing.

When I came to Ramanathpur for the first time, it was a jungle full of water, snakes, holes -- all those things. If someone gave us rice, we ate, if not, five days seven days, we did not eat. Now Ramanathpur is like heaven, here is Ananda Ashram. Jogeshwar Pal, (pictured) he was the landowner. And where kirtan now takes place was just a potatoe patch. I had so much trouble, nobody wanted to give me shelter. So I went to Calcutta. I was sleeping on the side of the road, no food, no shelter. I was totally illiterate. Who will give me shelter and food? I couldn't do any work. What trouble! I begged. I started to work as a servant in Calcutta. I begged from people. I did all those things so I could feed my mother, father and brothers.

If I become a sadhu, then I will be a big yogiraj. Then I'll go to America, I'll be so proud. No, no! I don't want that. Now I am in Premamayi's house, Rani Rasmani's house, and this is Ramakrishna's place. Premamayi is Rani Rasmani, and this is Thakur Ramakrishna's place.

What I am giving you, remember it from your heart, and believe from your heart, and someday you will see God. If you don't work hard, you cannot be a sadhu. Those who became big big yogis, they enjoyed their lives, they got clean clothes. But to me, I never had soap to wash my clothes. Once my mother gave me two bars of soap. I still have them. She gave me a shawl. I never used it. I have it still. Brahmamayi, others gave me so many things I don't use anything. I don't want to use anything. I have no attachment.

Now I have lots of sweaters. I have genjis (tee shirts) and dhoti after dhoti. God, you gave me so much trouble then to get one dhoti, and now you are giving me things, thousands upon thousands! Now you are giving me so many things, but I don't want them. I only want Thee.

If I go to America, everybody knows, and I know, that I will be proud. I don't want that. Premamayi wants that. I don't need anything, I don't need anything. I don't even need my life (jivan). Everything is maya.

Ma and me -- I'm the youngest son of my mother. Ma brought me here, and she always told me.. (to Sanat) You are not listening.

SANAT: Pride? Which kind of pride?

GURU: Oh, "I will go to London, I am so busy... (some missing text)

ATHENA: Are you going to translate that one?

GURU: Ma Premamayi is calling Sanat Kumar. Two or three months ago, when Sanat came, he brought his friend Gol (a name of Krishna). I told him, for Gol, thousands are coming. Sanatan Dharma ("The Eternal Religion." This is a play on Sanat's name.) to save the Hindu Religion, Krishna's message came. The time those things happened, when Sanat came, at that time we did not have any plan to come to America. Now Guru has become poisonous.

SANAT: Should I leave?

GURU: You see, he is afraid. That is the pride. My mother said, "My son, always call on God. Pray and pray." Your mother is your first Guru. I promised my Mother that until she carries me, up until that time I will not go to America. (To Sanat) You have made me break that promise. If you did not come, my Mother could have come, and I could have gone.

SANAT: Why not? This is God's grace.

GURU: I told Jiten, Srinivasan, Chandan, a lot of other bhaktas, that if Premamayi comes, then I'll go to America. Otherwise, no. Because America is a very rich, high-level country and I was afraid of that. Still, when you told me to go to America and that you are taking me there -- still I did not want to break my word. I wrote to Premamayi, and also called her, "Premamayi, you come and take me to America. I do not want to go with anyone else." But I lost that promise. Some mishap happened. (still to Sanat:) I think you could not recognize me and you mistook me for a thief or bad person.

Who took initiation? Ten, fifteen years ago, more than that, especially Srinivasan. He took initiation a long time ago. He just did pranam. The way he used to do the the pranam, he showed devotion. Shrinivas is very devoted. The mother to whom I do shastanga pranam (Thakur Ma). Doctors came, spirit-diviners came. At that time I was living in Niren Lahiri’s one-room attic. But I did not have any connection with him. I did not know Pranab Mukherjee’s name (brother of Thakur Ma). He had three houses in Kashi. He is a very rich man. I used to live in Purashor Road. Jivan Krishna Ghosh’s house. He was of the mahesho cast (a low caste). In Purashor Road, I gave initiation to the Ghosh family. Ghosh’s niece was to be married to a big doctor -- he gave initiation to them too.

I used to move around like this, I never stayed at an ashram for a long time. I would come, and then immediately I would leave. Jaganathpur Ashram, Kuldanga Ashram, Mahakalahati, those ashrams were mud huts with straw roofs. I became renowned, so I left those places. I would give initiation, "Om, Swaha," and the people would say, "Om Swaha." One ashram ... I can’t remember the person’s name ... he used to live with his wife and children. He came to the Kali Murti. He would put on gerua (ochre) cloth, he would give medicine, mantras. He used to keep only a Kali Murti and a Shiva Murti. Nothing was there but Kali Murti. Shiva Murti, and "Om."

In 1942, I established the Sadhanashram, in the Bengali calendar, it was 1337. A big festival in Ramanathpur ... 1327 or 1328. I went to Ramanathpur. Then I got Ma, and Mrs. Hart, and this way, my life started. I cannot understand God’s test -- why did He bring me to America? I still cannot understand this mystery. (To SANAT:) I am with you! And I have many disciples who would even give their life for me. But still, why I came to America with you, that is like a dream, even to me!

(More people enter the room)

GURU: (to Gita) Vedanta, Koran, Bible, all those holy books come from Guru. We are getting everything by Guru’s grace. You don’t need to read books to find God. You need to read the book of your own heart and mind. You are doing right.

SANAT: Ma is "right!"

GURU: Guru is sitting here, just like this, too many bhaktas are coming, but you have to pray to God for relief. There is a system where you have to go to the doctor and get medicine. Medicine is maya. In millions of stones there is one diamond. It is like this, really. If you see the light, around the light there is a halo (bhaktas gathered around Guru). If you put the brightness out, there is no halo.

(Baba beings reciting Sanskrit prayer to Gita:)

Gita, Ganga, Savitri
Sita, Shakti, Om,
Gita, Om Gita, Om Gita

In India, they say that over and over. In America, they talk about the (Bhagavad) Gita, but not that much. Mother is always giving her child so many thing -- toys, toffees, chocolate, cookies, everything. That is Mother. Mother is the top of the world.

--end of tape--