The following is a translation
of the final half of tape 76TR6 recorded in August, 1976. It was translated by Lillibati
and Narayan Majumdar, with assistance from Binodini.
A church group that had visited Athena's to meet with Guru has just left. Athena enters
the room and want to know what the church members had asked him.
GURU: They came to ask me
these questions. Have any saints came over from India? Sometimes, many saints come. They
try to test other saints to see that he or she is following the same path or not. Gita
wanted to say something, but she stopped. It was my wish that when Americans would come to
India they would give some kind of lecture. I wished that Gita Ma would give a lecture.
That way, everything would be solved. Guru is God. Guru's grace, should I speak about
that? Guru will express Himself about His Grace. ( to Gita: ) Have you tested Guru first,
and then accepted Him?
SANAT: Have you a photograph?
(gives Gita photograph)
( Unidentified male voice joking ): Five dollars!
GURU: No, no! No money! Your mind
is your money. I want my mother. Mother gives everything to her son. Mother brings ice
cream, chocolate, toys, she wants her son to be happy, and wants to give all to her son.
Love and devotion -- that's enough! Where will our program (bhajans, talk) be?
SANAT: You talk to your
"Ma" about that.
GURU (to Athena): Today, what
kind of questions have they brought today, Ma?
ATHENA: She (a woman from the
church group) wanted to come many times to ask questions, so I told her she could come
today. Did you give her any answers?
GURU: They asked me two
questions, I gave two answers. First -- why a Guru? Second --
how long did it take you to become a sadhu?
When I was little, I had such a hard life. I went from this house to that house. Everybody
treated me so badly. I was beaten up so many times. Now, I have this room made of earth
(at the ashram), the roof is made of straw. God gave this to me. Now I leave it and go off
to America! I never had even a mud hut! My mother never got to wear a good sari. She would
feed us, and what was left, she would eat.
My father used to chant : "Raghuputi Raghuva Raja Ram"
and smoke ganja. I did not have a dhoti. I wore a torn dhoti just to cover myself, and I
would go beg. When my mother cooked -- we did not have any plates -- she would make a hole
in the ground and we would use a leaf, that was our plate. At the age of nine (Guru greets a woman who enters the room). I could never
offer a good sari to my mother. We would eat bits of broken rice. My mother used to cook
water with rice leavings. But still, coming from that situation:
(Sanskrit proverb): "A disciple who cannot walk can climb a
hill if he has the courage; a person who cannot talk can talk forever if he has that
Will." If you have God's blessing.
When I came
to Ramanathpur for the first time, it was a jungle full of water, snakes, holes -- all
those things. If someone gave us rice, we ate, if not, five days seven days, we did not
eat. Now Ramanathpur is like heaven, here is Ananda Ashram. Jogeshwar Pal, (pictured) he was the landowner. And where kirtan now takes
place was just a potatoe patch. I had so much trouble, nobody wanted to give me shelter.
So I went to Calcutta. I was sleeping on the side of the road, no food, no shelter. I was
totally illiterate. Who will give me shelter and food? I couldn't do any
work. What trouble! I begged. I started to work as a servant in Calcutta. I begged from
people. I did all those things so I could feed my mother, father and brothers.
If I become a sadhu, then I will be a big yogiraj. Then I'll go to America, I'll be so
proud. No, no! I don't want that. Now I am in Premamayi's house, Rani Rasmani's house, and
this is Ramakrishna's place. Premamayi is Rani Rasmani, and this is Thakur Ramakrishna's
What I am giving you, remember it from your heart, and believe from your heart, and
someday you will see God. If you don't work hard, you cannot be a sadhu. Those who became
big big yogis, they enjoyed their lives, they got clean clothes. But to me, I never had
soap to wash my clothes. Once my mother gave me two bars of soap. I still have them. She
gave me a shawl. I never used it. I have it still. Brahmamayi, others gave me so many
things I don't use anything. I don't want to use anything. I have no attachment.
Now I have lots of sweaters. I have genjis (tee shirts) and dhoti after dhoti. God, you gave me so much trouble then to get one
dhoti, and now you are giving me things, thousands upon thousands! Now you are giving me
so many things, but I don't want them. I only want Thee.
If I go to America, everybody knows, and I know, that I will be proud. I don't want that.
Premamayi wants that. I don't need anything, I don't need anything. I don't even need my
life (jivan). Everything is maya.
Ma and me -- I'm the youngest son of my mother. Ma brought me here, and she always told
me.. (to Sanat) You are not listening.
SANAT: Pride? Which kind of
GURU: Oh, "I will go to
London, I am so busy... (some missing text)
ATHENA: Are you going to
translate that one?
GURU: Ma Premamayi is calling
Sanat Kumar. Two or three months ago, when Sanat came, he brought his friend Gol (a name of Krishna). I told him, for Gol, thousands are coming. Sanatan Dharma ("The Eternal
Religion." This is a play on Sanat's name.) to save the Hindu Religion,
Krishna's message came. The time those things happened, when Sanat came, at that time we
did not have any plan to come to America. Now Guru has become poisonous.
SANAT: Should I leave?
GURU: You see, he is afraid. That
is the pride. My mother said, "My son, always call on God. Pray and pray." Your
mother is your first Guru. I promised my Mother that until she carries me, up until that
time I will not go to America. (To Sanat) You
have made me break that promise. If you did not come, my Mother could have come, and I
could have gone.
SANAT: Why not? This is God's
GURU: I told Jiten, Srinivasan,
Chandan, a lot of other bhaktas, that if Premamayi comes, then I'll go to
America. Otherwise, no. Because America is a very rich, high-level country and I was
afraid of that. Still, when you told me to go to America and that you are taking me there
-- still I did not want to break my word. I wrote to Premamayi, and also called her,
"Premamayi, you come and take me to America. I do not want to go with anyone
else." But I lost that promise. Some mishap happened. (still to
Sanat:) I think you could not recognize me and you mistook me for a
thief or bad person.
Who took initiation? Ten, fifteen years ago, more than that, especially
Srinivasan. He took initiation a long time ago. He just did pranam. The way he used to do
the the pranam, he showed devotion. Shrinivas is very devoted. The mother to whom I do
shastanga pranam (Thakur Ma). Doctors came,
spirit-diviners came. At that time I was living in Niren Lahiris one-room attic. But
I did not have any connection with him. I did not know Pranab Mukherjees name (brother of Thakur Ma). He had three houses in Kashi. He is
a very rich man. I used to live in Purashor Road. Jivan Krishna Ghoshs house. He was
of the mahesho cast (a low caste). In Purashor
Road, I gave initiation to the Ghosh family. Ghoshs niece was to be married to a big
doctor -- he gave initiation to them too.
I used to move around like this, I never stayed at an ashram for a long
time. I would come, and then immediately I would leave. Jaganathpur Ashram, Kuldanga
Ashram, Mahakalahati, those ashrams were mud huts with straw roofs. I became renowned, so
I left those places. I would give initiation, "Om, Swaha," and the people would
say, "Om Swaha." One ashram ... I cant remember the persons name ...
he used to live with his wife and children. He came to the Kali Murti. He would put on
gerua (ochre) cloth, he would give medicine, mantras. He used to keep only a Kali Murti
and a Shiva Murti. Nothing was there but Kali Murti. Shiva Murti, and "Om."
In 1942, I established the Sadhanashram, in the Bengali calendar, it was
1337. A big festival in Ramanathpur ... 1327 or 1328. I went to Ramanathpur. Then I got
Ma, and Mrs. Hart, and this way, my life started. I cannot understand Gods test --
why did He bring me to America? I still cannot understand this mystery. (To SANAT:) I am with you! And I have many disciples who
would even give their life for me. But still, why I came to America with you, that is like
a dream, even to me!
(More people enter the room)
GURU: (to Gita) Vedanta, Koran,
Bible, all those holy books come from Guru. We are getting everything by Gurus
grace. You dont need to read books to find God. You need to read the book of your
own heart and mind. You are doing right.
SANAT: Ma is "right!"
GURU: Guru is sitting here, just
like this, too many bhaktas are coming, but you have to pray to God for relief. There is a
system where you have to go to the doctor and get medicine. Medicine is maya. In millions
of stones there is one diamond. It is like this, really. If you see the light, around the
light there is a halo (bhaktas gathered around Guru). If you put the brightness out, there
is no halo.
(Baba beings reciting Sanskrit prayer to Gita:)
Gita, Ganga, Savitri
Sita, Shakti, Om,
Gita, Om Gita, Om Gita
In India, they say that over and over. In America, they talk about the (Bhagavad) Gita, but not that much. Mother is always giving
her child so many thing -- toys, toffees, chocolate, cookies, everything. That is Mother.
Mother is the top of the world.
--end of tape--