It's very difficult to formulate any descriptions or words for the state prior to the 'I am' or beingness. Some words that have been commonly used are: nothingness, emptiness, fullness, void, eternity, totality or even the Absolute or 'Parabrahman'. Whatever the word, the 'I am' appears to have arisen on it and it is sometimes called its source. The individual comes much later in the picture and as you go back it is the pure 'I am' or beingness that remains, so it this knowledge 'I am' that has to go back to its source. There is no question of a non-existent individual anywhere.