Little sleep but wake up to be aware that there is a great sense of driving energy which is focused in the head. The body was groaning and yet it was very still, stretched out flat and very peaceful. The room seemed to be full and it was very late and the front door of the next house was shut with a bang - There was not an idea, not a feeling and yet the brain was alert and sensitive. The pressure and the stra1n were there causing pain. An odd thing about this pain is that it does not in any way exhaust the body. There seems to be so much happening within the brain but yet it is impossible to put into words what exactly is taking place. There was a sense of measureless expansion.
11th The pressure and strain have been rather heavy and there is pain. The odd part of all this is that the body in no way protests or puts up resistance in any way. There is an unknown energy involved in all this. Too busy to write much.
12th It was bad last night, shouting and groaning. The head was painful. Though little sleep, woke up twice and each time there was a sense of expanding intensity and intense inward attention and the brain had emptied itself of all feeling and thought.
Destruction, the complete emptying of the brain, the reaction and memory must without any effort wither away; withering away implies time but it is time that ceases and not the ending of memory.
This timeless expanding that was taking place and the quality and degree of intensity are wholly different from passion and feeling. It was this intensity totally unrelated to any desire, wish or experience, as remembrance, that was rushing through the brain. The brain was only an instrument and it's the mind that is this timeless expanding, exploding intensity of creation. And creation is destruction.
In the aeroplane it's going on.*
* Flying to Geneva from where he drove to a friend's chalet at Gstaad.