note: This file is only available in English translation so far. We hope to have the Bengali Unicode version soon. - Premananda
I came in contract with Baba through Dibakar Da, disciples of Baba. My associate with Dibakarda was for a considerable period of time. We had discussion about spirituality and he knew my urge in this regard. One day he showed me the Photograph of Baba which was kept in his pocket. I gazed at the Photograph of Baba while and felt that 'He' was pulling me towards 'Him'. I tried to remind,- have I seen him before? I was asking myself but I could not remind at the moment.
Dibakarda told me that Baba will be coming to a festival to be observed by 'Thakuma': Grandmother at her residence. Many of the disciples will be coming. Baba will be present at the festival to grace the festival. This lady was called by Baba as Mother, so the disciples used to call her as Thakuma or Grandmother. Dibakarda asked me whether i was interested to meet Baba.
I kept silent. After this meeting with Dibakarda, I came to my house and was pondering about Baba after viewing his photograph. After dinner I was strolling on the court-yeard and heard a voice slowly coming from a distance: "well, are you not coming?"....I tried to find out the source, but could not. While I went to sleep, I could not sleep. Suddenly I viewed that picture of Baba in front of me at my bed and it disappeared.
I again tried to take sleep. Slowly sleep came to my eyes. In my dream Baba appeared before me and told me: "Are you not coming? It is so? Whether are you coming or not?" My dream broke and I awake. I was thinking about my dream.
Next day I med Keshto da. I knew Keshto da due to my involvement earlier as a player. Keshto da had also such involvement. While meeting Keshto da, he told me about Baba's coming to the place mentioned earlier. That was the day of 'Sankranti' (end day of any month). I reached at the place (Thakuma's house), where the puja - festival would be observed. I met Baba and bowed down at his feet, offered my heartfelt Pronam at His feet. He kept his hand on my head and I immediately felt a healing touch, so touchy so compassionate that I cannot express in words. I looked at him and he looked at me. His eyes became brighter and brighter. His eyes penetrating into my heart,- as if he was snatching everything within my heart,- it was something like taking snaps of my inner-self.
After some pause, Don't go away. I need your presence at the time of puja, worshipping. I nodded in reply. He then went to worshipping place, the place to observe the festival. I was at a corner to observe silently about the worshipping to be held.
While He was on his 'seat'to start worshipping he was calling, "Gour, Gour, where are you? Please come". Others assembled looked here and there. He then identified me and told everybody, "oh! You are not finding out my Gour,- he is Gour... indicating me!"
Since then I was known as 'Gour'in the ashram and to the disciples of Baba. That was the name given by him.
I was thinking about the inner meaning of the name and was in search of any hidden indicators within me regarding this transformation, this transformation of worldly identity towards spiritual identity. How can I explain, what was His wish, what was His indication? This was beyond my knowledge. He asked me to come to take seat very near to Him and told me: "Whatever rituals you are observing,- these are only to bring out your devoutness, do not toe-up yourself only with rituals, do not be rigid about the rituals, but try to open your mind, open your heart, your love to the Light of the Divine,- broaden yourself, expand yourself-----and try to become".
I feel a process of rebirth was happening. He was trying to germinate of process of rebuilding my mechanism,- my inner state for growing my aspiration for a 'Spiritual Journey'.
Next time I visited Ramanathpur Ashram with Dibakar Da. That was on Saraswati Puja Day. During Saraswati Puja, and the next 2 days were the ANNAKOT UTSAV made by Baba.
While I reached at Ashram Baba introduced me with Jaya Di, an inmate of the Ashram. He asked Jaya Di to take care about me. Jaya Di accordingly took care about me during my stay at Ashram. She was very keen to me with her hospitality. I stayed for seven days at Ashram. I was waiting to be initiated by Baba. Dibakar Da requested Baba to initiate me. But Baba told him. "Why are you arguing on behalf of him?" this is not the place for any sort of brokerage".
Thus I came back to my residence without initiation. But my attachment with Ashram & Baba was growing day by day. Whenever I find time, I used to come at Ramanathpur Ashram.
One day's incident shacked me much. I could not understand at that moment,- the behavior Baba made with me. But later I got the result. On that day I was spending my time with Baba after having Prasad at noon. Baba was taking rest. I could massage well. I was massaging Baba with care. Suddenly He woke up and ordered me to go immediately from the Ashram Premises. He repeatedly asked me to leave the Ashram. Being much disappointed I left the Ashram and proceeded for my residence. On the way I met the engineer who was also going to my residence to arrange for finalizing the foundation of my own house to be build up in the presence of Engineer, the foundation/plinth of my proposed house made possible with the other workers engaged to build up the house. That was the foundation day of my newly built house.
When I made advance to purchase the land for the house, some how or rather Baba was not informed. After that I went to Ashram on a day and immediate after my reaching at Ashram Baba said, "oh! You have come, good. After making advance for your land you have come is it so?
Thus was Baba, He could know every step of our work even if we would not let him know.
But He was always eager to protect us from all difficulties, odds, troubles that we had to face in day to day life living. We could understand how we became able to overcome those odds, difficulties, ordeals, hurdles.
His blessing was always with us, but we were not aware and conscious about His silent work, the spiritual force that He used to send to us for overcoming all the ordeals and hurdles.
Before the foundation of my new house Baba gave me 'Pancharatna'and some other material in a small baggage to worship for foundation and to burry the baggage under the ground.
In the midst of work of building was supposed to be stopped, due to want of money. The roofing was being delayed; I was annoyed and could not find out any way to proceed further. I went to Baba, expressed my difficulties and the problem. He counseled me and assured me that I would have scope or opportunity to solve the problem.
After few days I got a cheque from LIC, Life Insurance Corporation against my policy as Bonds, which I applied before and with that amount the problem was solved.
There were so many and there are still may treasures in the Island of Baba that if we really try to find of that treasures, we cannot count them.
Once I dreamt that I reached at Ashram with lunar garland and some sweets for worshipping the Deity Mother Kali. Having this dream, I thought that I should go in the next morning to the Ashram with those garland and sweets.
Just I reached at the Ashram I heard Baba's voice from the room of Mother kali, "oh! You have asked lunar garland and sweets. Do you need it?" I was spell bound.
The interviewer now asked about the initiation: Year of initiation and how the initiation happens.
The interviewer in reply narrated the event of initiation:- 'The year was 1978.
The year was significant due to heavy flood. But in Guru Purnima, I went to Ramanathpur Ashram though there were many hindrances.
Facing all the hindrances and the disaster, I reached and met Baba and bowed down at the feet of Baba with tears of my eyes. Baba raised me and arranged for my initiation. I was initiated formally after a long time but my inner transformation started when I first made Baba. When He called me as 'Gour', I thought of why I have been renamed as 'Gour'. What is the inner significance of this renaming? Baba helped me to understand during a course of time to understand how he germinated the process of transformation within me. I was being processed through 'Yoga'of transformation. He told me to 'become'. So he indicated that my 'Sadhana'will be to become 'Gour'. From 'Ajit'to 'Gour', is the journey that I have to go for and further.