Premananda's letters to Nellie 5

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September 22, 1976

Dear Nellie,

How are you? I hope your trip back was pleasant. We took Sanat to the airport on Tuesday (7th), but he didn’t get off until the 8th. It’s good that he did since he was about to start climbing the walls with anguish. I left New York on the 9th, and have been putting my things in order here at my parent’s house. I am now in the process of forming a clear plan and trying to write it down in a way that I might be able to enlist some support. I went to see John Batiste, and he said he would try to help. The main problem I face is in getting a long enough visa. I am writing to several people, and soon I shall be ready to present my "project" to people in New York and, eventually, the consulate. I am really working in the dark on all fronts, but something within keeps pushing me despite the odds, and despite our old friend, the unknown.

In the meantime, I have to find a job just to hold me till I find a way. I’ll be getting a place with Tom soon since I can’t stay here much longer. I’ll just keep knocking on doors till one opens.

Meanwhile, much to my great surprise and joy, I find that Baba is indeed nearby. There has been no drop into deep despair; in fact, there is a new strength now. I long for him and long to be at his side and, naturally, I worry about how to do it, but there is a greater faith now—a much clearer vision. There’s so much to be done!

Tonight is the eve of Baba’s big puja. At least it will mean he won’t be worrying about that after tomorrow. I’ll write to him soon.

The main thing I wanted to ask you is where can I write to Kanta Devi? I thought I should find out from her as soon as possible any information she may have about ways to get a longer visa. If you have an address for her or can get it, please send it on. She must know something after all the time she has stayed in India. I’m sure there must be a way. One has to keep trying everything.

Thank you for all your kindness and love and understanding. You truly helped clear out some cobwebs in my mind. The wonderful times of our "eternity" in Brooklyn this summer keep coming back to me, rich in meaning, and saturated with love.

I’ll write again very soon as things progress and clear up here.

Pranams and love,

Your child,