Premananda's letters to Nellie 4

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POSTMARKED July 1, 1975

Dear Brahmamayee Ma,

Jay Guru! How are you? I trust that you are well and that your mother is recovering satisfactorily. I had met your brother once briefly while driving with Athena to Albany—we stopped at his house for a short time. Please convey to him my good wishes, though he may not remember me.

I and my two guru-brothers, Yogananda and Nityananda, returned to U.S.A. 26th June. We did not get extension of our visas, despite prior promises and assurances, and when they expired, we were told to leave India inside of three weeks. As you may imagine, this greatly saddened both me and Baba, and I am quite at a loss now as to what to do. Baba is with us always by virtue of his superhuman power; yet, I miss the sight of him and his daily play. My one thought is to get back to him as soon as possible. I am very sorry that his American journey could not be arranged in time. It seems a number of devotees are on my back about this, and I hope you will understand it was simply impossible to arrange for this year. Baba was greatly concerned about you while we were there. He was adamant about not going to New York without also going to Hawaii. When we can finally work out his trip, I hope next year, he will certainly come to see you. I shall try to spur on the Indians to get his passport now, though you know the way they do things—it’s always "later, later…." Baba’s room is now rebuilt and in fine shape, though it caused him some anxiety. I guess he was feeling like the true sadhu that he is, that even this necessary repair was some kind of "luxury" unbecoming to one who has renounced the world—Ah, how I worry over him now! Sometimes he is so like a child, I worry if he will be okay. I hope you will write lots of letters to him. You have no idea how much it means to him to hear from us. How he keeps all his letters, like a little boy with his treasure box! Such majesty clothed in such a humble form! I feel like crying when I think of him steadily. Few have really seen his true glory, and of those who have, none can speak it. Please know that I am thinking of you. My plans are up in the air. If I can get a job in my line of photography, cinema or TV or something like that, I’ll be okay. Please let me know how you are. I shall do likewise. The blessings of the Lord are directly upon you.

My pranams and love,

Your child,